Are Black Men Raised To Lead In A Marriage?
Let's Talk Relationships show explored this topic on Monday, January 31, with special guest speaker, Richard Smith - married for over two decades, and Get Fit host, DIondre Borel - single and looking for a wife. Are black men raised to lead a marriage?
The hosts of the show Coach Racquel and DJ Kte, led the panel of four in the discussion.
What did we learn from this conversation?
Lesson #1: Is there a need for leadership training for black men?
Based on the discussion, yes, there is an evident need for leadership training for black men. In the discussion, the panel demonstrated an understanding of the importance of leadership for a marriage to be successful. However, it was not clear that the term was fully understood.
Lesson #2: Were black men raised to lead in a marriage?
Based on the discussion, not directly. They were raised with responsibilities, some of which may be considered elements of leadership, however, there is room for a more intentional approach towards preparing men for leadership within a marriage.
Lesson #3: Can black men lead in a marriage?
Black men, despite being ill-prepared, in addition to the challenges they face based on the research data shared, continue to rise above these challenges. Yes, black men are leading. The recommendation from the panel is for more black men to explore therapy and coaching. These could prove useful in helping more men to unearth their true potential for successful leadership in their marriages.
Quotes on Leadership
“What pops into my head: security, food, a beautiful home,” he said. “The difference between a house and a home, it’s a big difference. You can buy a house, but that doesn’t make it a home – and not to say a man can’t make a home a home, but my wife has made our house a home."
Denzel Washington, Actor
10 Nelson Mandela Quotes on Leadership
“Real leaders must be ready to sacrifice all for the freedom of their people.” – Chief Albert Luthuli Centenary Celebrations, April 25, 1998, South Africa
“I am fundamentally an optimist. Whether that comes from nature or nurture, I cannot say. Part of being optimistic is keeping one’s head pointed toward the sun, one’s feet moving forward. There were many dark moments when my faith in humanity was sorely tested, but I would not and could not give myself up to despair. That way lays defeat and death.” – “Long Walk to Freedom, The Autobiography of Nelson Mandela” written by Nelson Mandela in 1994
“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.” – “Long Walk to Freedom, The Autobiography of Nelson Mandela” written by Nelson Mandela in 1994
“A leader…is like a shepherd. He stays behind the flock, letting the most nimble go out ahead, whereupon the others follow, not realizing that all along they are being directed from behind.” – “Long Walk to Freedom, The Autobiography of Nelson Mandela” written by Nelson Mandela in 1994
“If you want the cooperation of humans around you, you must make them feel they are important – and you do that by being genuine and humble.” – An interview with Oprah for O Magazine, April 2001
“It is so easy to break down and destroy. The heroes are those who make peace and build.” – Address at Kliptown, Soweto, South Africa, July 12, 2008
“A real leader uses every issue, no matter how serious and sensitive, to ensure that at the end of the debate we should emerge stronger and more united than ever before.” – Nelson Mandela’s personal notebook, January 16, 2000
“Difficulties break some men but make others. No ax is sharp enough to cut the soul of a sinner who keeps on trying, one armed with the hope that he will rise even in the end.” – A letter to Winnie Mandela, written on Robben Island, February 1, 1975
“A fundamental concern for others in our individual and community lives would go a long way in making the world the better place we so passionately dreamt of.” – Address at Kliptown, Soweto, South Africa, July 12, 2008
“A good leader can engage in a debate frankly and thoroughly, knowing that at the end he and the other side must be closer, and thus emerge stronger. You don’t have that idea when you are arrogant, superficial and uninformed.” – An interview with Oprah for O Magazine, April 2001